Friend or Foe?

Thirty-two years at one company, most of my social activities tied to work, a lot of travel for work along with work associates, starting at the bottom and working my way up to Chairman and CEO - these are all contributors to asking yourself what the difference is between a "friend" and an "acquaintance" if you find yourself getting blind-sided by the people you trust.

When you work for a company as long as I have, and you find yourself in a position of caretaker for the people, it is quite difficult to separate work from family. I made a solemn promise when I became COB to protect the shareholder. In this case, the shareholders were also the employees. You can't make a promise like that without caring about what happens with each and every employee and their families. Instead of having one family (your own), you end up feeling like you are responsible for say, 300 families. (That is, unless you're a completely heartless and selfish bastard.)

If you're human, you care. I cared. But when I was betrayed by people I trusted, I found out that there's a big difference between a friend and an acquaintance...

An "acquaintance" is someone you've met, see from time to time (even daily), a business associate in or out of your company, or know through someone else - perhaps even a vendor or a customer. You may even get together from time to time, or attend their family functions, but that does not make you friends.

A friend is unmistakable. He's the person that comes through for you when things go bad. Period.

Anyone can be your "friend" when you're on top. Anyone can be your friend when they want something from you. Anyone can be your friend when they benefit somehow by their association with you. Anyone can be your friend when it's politically correct. Anyone can be your friend when they want to hide something from you (diversion). Anyone can be your friend when they're hurting. Anyone can be your friend when you want something from them that they do not want to give (illusion). Anyone can be your friend when they want something you have (betrayal). Anyone can be your friend when they want something for themselves without necessarily hurting you (suck up).

When you lose your job of 32 years, you find out who your true friends really are. Don't kid yourself if you're in a position of authority in your job. Take an inventory of who you think your true friends really are before it is too late. You can't be good friends with everyone. Narrow your circle of people you can really count on in your mind. And, for goodness sake, make a really good friend or two outside of work. This will save you the pain of losing almost every good friend you ever thought you had in one fell swoop.

On a good note, I was pleasantly surprised to find a few true friends from places I never expected. To them, I say thank you and I love you. They know I would do anything for them. As any true friend would.